Brendan Burns: From Investment Banker to Life, Business, & Relationship Coach
Most Investment Bankers who rise the ranks to Associate, Vice President, Director, and then Managing Director earn salaries and bonuses of more than one million dollars per year. Other investment bankers transition to the buyside, where cushy hedge fund and private equity positions can pay even more. For those seeking more of a lifestyle, there are positions in Corporate America where people can find competitive salaries as well as stock options.
So why and how did High-Performance Coach, Author and Speaker Brendan Burns ditch this lucrative field for Life, Business, and Relationship Coaching? “It was my calling,” Burns explains. Many people think that he simply flipped a switch and decided to try something new, but there is a lot more to his story of world travel, coaching NFL athletes, and building a personal brand large enough to allow for live events in Costa Rica in New York City.
To the outside person, Burns seemed “successful” on the surface when working on Wall Street, but deep down he was unfulfilled. He shares that this situation came to a peak when he woke up one day to find his live-in girlfriend gone, his Wall Street boss firing him, and his brother in the hospital. With Burns’s world crashing down, he did the only thing he could. He headed straight to the Self-Improvement section at his local Barnes and Noble and ultimately began studying 1-on-1 under the training of top business and relationship experts, many of whom were authors of the very books he first turned to find answers. After years of studying, research, and deep psychological work and training in this field, Brendan left Wall Street for good to pursue his passion as a high-performance life and business coach.
One of Burns’s favorite areas of coaching is relationships. Specifically, helping his students and readers understand attachment theory and how it could potentially be hurting their dating life or current intimate relationship. There are three primary attachment styles, Burns explains, secure, anxious, and avoidant.
Secure people make up about 50% of the population, and are the individuals who typically come to mind when thinking about healthy relationships. These people are comfortable with intimacy, warm, loving, and are available to their partners. Unfortunately, although about half of all people are secure, this is not the majority of people who make up the single pool. These people most frequently find themselves in healthy and satisfying relationships. So if you’re single and looking for a partner, pay attention because finding a secure partner is the best way to become secure yourself.
Next, the anxious style is characterized by wanting too much intimacy and closeness. These people are often overly preoccupied over their relationships and can obsess about them. and obsess about the relationship. Burns shares that often people who identify with the anxious style will look for external validation that their partner likes them and that this type can become extremely insecure if that validation is not immediately offered. The best way for this type to find healthy, lasting relationships it to do deep internal work concerning their relational insecurities and to date a secure person, who can help them become more secure themselves.
?Finally, avoidant people go to the opposite extreme of the anxious style. They tend to want too much space and to equate intimacy as a bad thing. They push away others and can be fearful of commitment or getting too close to another person. Often, avoidants develop these feelings as a result of having been smothered by someone in their past or because they witnessed or have experienced unhealthy or broken relationships in the past. Once again, this attachment style arises from internal issues, and to become more healthy relationally, avoidants should seek to work through their relational issues and fears and seek to become more healthy.
The good news, Burns reveals, is that your attachment style is not set in stone. Anxious and avoidant types can become more secure with time, and that can dramatically impact the health and quality of their intimate relationships. In his coaching practice, Burns dives into this relationship tool, along with a host of other top resources and tools to help his clients find success in their personal life or business.
Today, Burns helps people from around the world maximize their lives. He shares all of his best business and self-development tools, to help people achieve high levels of success, fulfillment, and most importantly, happiness. He currently works with high performers, professional athletes, business executives, and others interested in personal or professional development. Brendan also manages the @brendanhburns account on Instagram, which has more than 100,000 followers. He currently resides in New York City, where he hosts the iTunes Show “The Brendan Burns Show,” which is also featured on Spotify.